Prometheus Reassigned
”General Strifemire?”
“That’s me. And you are?”
“Major Foulichor, 6th Resentment Brigade. I was ordered to report to you immediately.”
“Ah yes, Foulichor. We have a new assignment for you.”
“For me, sir? Has my performance been unsatisfactory?”
“Quite satisfactory, Foulichor. Your work stirring up resentment between affinity groups has been noticed. We also remember the quality work you did before the Great Purge…back when you were codenamed Prometheus. You really got the humans to believe they were something special, and not the way the Enemy considers them special. And, even more importantly, you got them to think they were qualified to play with powers that most of them are not.”
“Thank you, sir. I must say, I miss the work I did before the Enemy destroyed all the great pantheons. I preferred leading the humans around more directly, rather than trying to steer them into ruin invisibly. It’s more fun when they worship and fear you.”
“You and me both. Things have been so much harder, and less satisfying, really, since Golgotha, the War in Heaven, and all that. Not a day goes by that I don’t want to wipe that pious smirk off Michael’s face. But enough reminiscing. You miss the old pantheons? Well, they are probably gone forever. But what about a new pantheon? How does that strike you?”
“Can we do that? I mean, I know there are still some corners where people believe us when we appear as gods, but that sort of thing rather looked to me to be fading year by year.”
“Well, Foulichor, the current battle plan has finally started to pay off, and conditions for a return to the old way of doing things are becoming favorable again.”
“That would be fantastic, sir. Does this have anything to do with my new assignment?”
“Indeed. You see, Foulichor, our Father Below has decided it is time to start rolling out a new pantheon of deities. It will be a slow roll out, of course. You can’t just spring fully formed gods on people like these. They still have the strong materialist biases we have implanted in them for the last two hundred years, after all. But those biases have made them arrogant and gullible. They will eventually swallow anything if you stroke their sense of pride enough first. We will start with just an idea, and over time endue it ever greater religious fervor and veneration. And then you will step in, flip that idea into personification, and then an outright deity with a cult, veneration, temples, the works. In fact, we already have these fools talking openly about temples dedicated to the god we have you assigned to play.”
“The return of Prometheus, sir?”
“Ah, no. The old gods are done. Apart from a few weirdos still trying to worship Odin or something, that’s a non-starter. We are making new gods, whole cloth. And you are going to be one of them. I hope you understand how big of an opportunity this is for you, Foulichor. A step back into a major strategic operation, one that you have handled ably before. Most of your comrades will not be getting another shot at former glories like you are any time soon.”
“I am very excited about this. But why me? There are others who worked as much more popular, memorable gods than I did.”
“Because you have spent the last 1700 years specializing in resentment, Foulichor. And the role we have for you is perfect for people that are selfish, embittered, and carrying grudges.”
“Can you tell me what kind of god I will be, then?”
“Oh yes. This one has been long in the making. Our Father Below experimented with it all the way back in your home city of Athens.”
“Sir, are you saying we are going to make a deity out of…”
“Democracy, Foulichor! Democracy! It’s perfect. We’ve spent the better part of two centuries convincing the entire western world that an idea that has only brought misery and disaster is the perfect form of government. We’ve convinced them that not only is it good, it is preferable. And not only preferable, but necessary. And so necessary, that it should be imposed on those that do not want it by force.”
“Deliciously ironic, sir.”
“It makes this old demon smile like few things can. How many millions have we sent to eternal damnation with bullets fired in the name of spreading democracy abroad, or in resistance to it? And there is more. In the West it is practically professional suicide for any public figure to suggest a nation should be less democratic. We even have them calling their government buildings temples to democracy! Your work is already half done. It won’t take much at all to get them to believe you are an actual, personal deity worthy of their worship.”
“I am eager to take on this work, sir. We will bring back the golden age of darkness, once more!”
“Let us not be so triumphalist yet, Foulichor. Things are looking good, but there is still much work to do, and there are obstacles. There is of course a growing resentment of democracy. You can use that resentment creatively, I am sure, by the way. But the goal here is not just to reestablish pagan religiosity. You want them to use it to their own destruction. You are no longer Prometheus, you are now Demos, the god of democracy. But like your former role, you are a bringer of fire. Not literal fire, but the fire of enfranchisement combined with immaturity, arrogance, ignorance, and grievance. A fire not for cooking, but for burning down civilizations. As Demos you will inspire the people to vote to destroy those more virtuous than themselves, vote to reward behaviors that make civilization impossible, vote to expand the powers of government until its weight becomes unbearable, until the nations collapse into endless war or utter statism.”
“It seems you intend for me to work myself out of a job, then.”
“Perhaps, Foulichor, perhaps. But if you do, you will be first in line for the role of the god of whatever form of emperor worship will inevitably follow democracy. Are you ready to get started?”
“I am, sir. Very much so.”
“Excellent! I will inform Undersecretary Wormwood that you have been reassigned effective immediately. Congratulations, Demos.”